“I love women, but you can’t always trust them; some of them are liars.
Like this girl I met in the park. She was walking her dog and she was cute, so I started to talk to her. She told me her dog’s name.
I said, “Does he bite?”
She said, “No.”
I said, “Oh yeah? Then how does he eat? Liar.””—Demetri Martin. Person.